Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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