OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
