11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Randomize
