More tranny stories later!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
