So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
