I hate your face
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
