i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
