And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
