You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm passing your future prison.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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