drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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