Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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