I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
