is this the sara with the beer cane?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
