Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
