Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
