Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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