totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
