It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
