i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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