I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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