I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Come on in and take your pants off
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