is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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