one two three fourrrrnication!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
