I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Congratulations! We have a period
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
