My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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