my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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