Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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