I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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