There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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