New invention idea: vibrating tampons
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
