He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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