She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
