I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
