piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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