Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
