its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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