awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
