he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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