You can't special order awesome
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
