Your mouth is God's brothel.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
