Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
