sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
