lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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