I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
