i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
