Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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