yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
