Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
