i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
