My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
