Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
