I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
