Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
