it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
